If I’m being honest, this is the first week of the project where I’ve really struggled on what to photograph. Partly because life was just really busy, and partly because my mind was still elsewhere. Sunday afternoon rolled around and I pulled out my camera because I had to. I was committed to taking a photo, even if I wasn’t excited about it.
My littlest was down for a nap and my toddler was glued to some tv show on the iPad, but I knew it would be worth it to draw his attention elsewhere. I grabbed a few cameras from my collection and offered them to him to look at, something I’ve honestly never done before.
His little voice saying “chamera” with too many letters was my favorite thing. He quickly realized that the camera’s I had handed him weren’t actually shooting. They were just pretending to shoot, and he wanted the real thing. He pointed to my camera, and apprehensively I handed it to him, tucking the strap around his neck and helping him cup his little fingers under the lens to support the weight.
I showed him which button to press to shoot, and how to angle the lens.
His little face lit up as he pressed the shutter over and over again and saw my face pop up on the back of the screen. “Momma.”
When I went to take my camera back, he grabbed the strap and put it back around his neck. “Harley’s turn.” I let him take a few more shots.
I haven’t talked a lot, or really at all, about autism here, but the truth is that things like this are huge milestones for my tiny boy. His communication has bloomed the last few weeks, particularly as he’s gotten so into painting. Hearing him communicate with so many words is a milestone I didn't know that we’d ever reach, and such a gift.
For the first time in a while, I’m feeling really hopeful about his future. That he’ll find things he loves, that bring him so much joy. That even in the midst of struggles, he’ll be okay.
It’s rare to get photos of him so still, and these are such a treasure for my mama heart. Wild that the photos I took on a day I just didn’t feel like it have ended up being my favorite.
Swipe to the end to see his very first portrait, taken at just three years old, a photo of his mama.
